Socializing without alcohol is possible. I’m living proof of that, and to be honest, I wasn’t sure it was when I first got sober. The thought of it scared the pants off me, and I thought I wouldn’t enjoy going out anymore. Ever. Beyond it being possible, its also fun and much more rewarding than the past, and that’s not something I could even imagine a year ago. That just goes to show how much mindset comes into play in the sober life, and how important it is to “do the work”, as they say, to get to this place.
Many people choose to live alcohol free for various reasons and enjoy this lifestyle. Imagine going out with friends at night, coming home at a decent hour, sleeping great, and getting up bright and early for an 8am yoga class on a Saturday. This is my life now. It’s the best of both worlds. It’s about enjoying your company and the chosen activity that you are doing. You are in it for the experience, not the alcohol. What a concept. I used to be in it for the alcohol, for the most part and didn’t really realize that. I would select the people and the activity based upon the drinking, and my life really reflected that. I stopped exploring who I was at my core, and seeked out cheap thrills and cheaper laughs instead.
If you are new to sobriety and are trying to find your footing in this area, rest assured you will find your way. There are lots of ways you can explore socializing without alcohol and its really about trial and error to see what you like. Overtime it will be a no-brainer and you will wonder how you ever lived any other way. To get you started, I want you to think about what you like to do, and what your interests are. If you have no idea, then you have some work to do. If you have solo style hobbies, you’ll want to step outside of your comfort zone and try something new that maybe involves communicating with other people. Humans need connection to thrive in society.
One of the great things about living in this time is that the alcohol-free movement is creating sober spaces, and alcohol-free events. A good place to start would be to join a sober community, and chances are you will learn about events taking place in your area. You can also seek out community on social media in your area, and they will most likely host meet ups that you can attend. The key here is to look in your area for these communities if you are specifically seeking in person connection.
Sober bars are a new concept, but an exciting one. What a great way to do a first date. Or a get together with your girlfriends. You have the atmosphere, the vibe, and the bartender mixing up delicious drinks, without the alcohol. Everyone is free to show up and leave as themselves. This is a growing trend and will continue to gain popularity in the future.
If you are getting together at someone’s home, its easy to bring your own mocktails and they are increasingly easier to source out in almost every community. There are hundreds of options on the market for non-alcoholic spirits, wine and beers and they can solve the issue of you feeling like you have nothing to hold. Mocktails were a yes for me, right from the get-go of my sobriety. You just need to try things out and see what you like.
One of the best things I love about sobriety is that I choose differently. I choose different people to socialize with and different activities. I choose to spend time with people who share in my desire to have meaningful, soulful conversations. People who support me for real and show up for me. People that I do the same for. That wasn’t always the case in my drinking days, I would spend nights with people who never took the time to ask me anything about myself. People who didn’t know me and didn’t care to. If you are new to sobriety, there is a bit of a gap there where you can feel a little alone, and a little isolated, but it doesn’t last. That gap period is about you doing the healing, and you preparing for the new. It’s a necessary time, and a good time to think about what you really want and what is important to you. You will start to attract that into your life when the time is right. Use that time to seek out some hobbies and try new things.
Starting a new hobby will lead you to the new friends and the people who share common interests to you.
Sobriety is a journey and it’s so important that you honor your journey and your process, which ever stage you are in, for as long as you are in it. You have lessons to learn as you go, and teachers will show up on your path so be available to that, and always be both proud of your choice for good health and curiosity to learn.
If you need to set boundaries within your family circle or your social circle, just know that is more than ok. You need to put yourself first and do everything you need to do to stay committed to your sobriety. Your life will change so much for the better when you do this.
When you are first sober, you will need to plan some free time in advance to stay prepared. Sobriety requires planning in the beginning if you want to be successful.
Movie nights, community pool visits, game nights, hikes and anything else that interests you should be on your list. Create a list of 20 or more activities that you could potentially do on a weekend and keep your list handy for review. You can refer to your list at any time and watch your free time fill up in a fulfilling way.
One of the greatest gifts about sobriety is that you come to know who you are, and what you like, in time. The first year of sobriety is all about exploration, trying new things, and giving yourself plenty of grace. Be proud of your wins, big and small and know that the people who belong in your life will surface when they are supposed to, and the ones that are already there will not leave if they are meant to stay in your life. The way you spend time needs to change, and that will sort itself out as you go. You might be surprised after some practice that you never needed alcohol at all to socialize. You might just find that you were better off without it, all along. I know I did.
If you’re looking for more personalized support in navigating a sober lifestyle and social situations, I offer one-on-one sober coaching sessions to help you stay confident and empowered. Take the first step toward thriving in your alcohol-free journey, visit the website angeladinnell.com
